Winning Isn't Everything | Fanzine | The Feast of Steven [22 April 2004]

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Saturday 19 September

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The Feast of Steven

WIE has received an advanced preview of some of the television highlights we can expect to see on Boxing Day 2004.

10:00 Celebrity Can't Cook, Won't Cook

Ainsley Harriott is joined in the studio by ex-Premiership stars Neil "Razor" Ruddock and Steve Claridge. Neil recalls his time in the jungle earlier this year and how they had to make meals out of next to nothing. Steve will (allegedly) make a meal out of diving in the box.

Subtitles...888

Cooking up a storm: Ainsley with Steve Claridge. You can also catch Steve at 11:30, 14:00, 14:30... erm all day in fact.

11:30 Live Conference Football - SCW v NCBA

Rather surprisingly Sky has ignored the North London derby and Manchester United's trip to Anfield to visit the Wessex Stadium and concentrate on this relegation battle in the Nationwide Conference between Nigel Clough’s Burton Albion and Steve Claridge’s Weymouth. The home side were surprisingly promoted after Crawley Town were deducted fifteen points for not having a famous enough manager. In charge of this game is Graham Poll with help from his assistants Mr N. Clough and Mr S. Claridge. Commentary from Alan Parry with guest summariser Steve Claridge (oops sorry..... Tony Cottee).

14:00 God’s Speech

After hearing yesterday what Queen thought of 2004 we go live to somewhere in Dorset to hear God’s perspective on the year passed.

Subtitles...888

14:30 Top of the Pops Christmas Special

Featuring performances from Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue, The Darkness and the festive Number One from Weymouth Football Club:
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to see Welling win away..."

15:30 Live Premiership Football - Southampton v Chelsea

Sky makes a Boxing Day visit to the St Mary’s Stadium to see if Paul Sturrock’s Southampton side can upset the form book against Sven Goran Eriksson and his expensively assembled superstars. Kick-off is at 16:05 with commentary from Martin Tyler and Steve Claridge (assuming he can get there from Weymouth in time).

19:00 Tomorrow’s World Design Awards 2004

Included in tonight’s awards is the best sporting design category, pioneered by a Mr S. Claridge from Weymouth. His invention of the invisible shin pad is expected to revolutionise the game of football.

Subtitles...888

20:00 An Audience with Steve Claridge

An evening of light-hearted entertainment in the company of that well-known footballer and media personality Steve Claridge with a specially invited audience. Steve will recall his last 20 hours (sorry years) in the game.

Subtitles...888

21:30 I’m a Celebrity Football Pundit... Get Steve Claridge Out of Here.

Live from the main ITV studios Ant and Dec interview a number of famous footballing faces from the past. Ex-players Matthew Le Tissier, Alan McInally, Nigel Spackman, Alvin Martin and others discuss how their appearances this season have dwindled as a result of the arrival on the scene of one man....

White Socks

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